Built By Cynicism

August 22, 2020

When I was a child, I wanted to believe that my god was perfect. I wanted to believe the lie, you know the one, that he loved us so much that he gave his only begotten son for our sins. I wanted to believe in choirs, angels, beautiful white marble, and being able to see my maternal grandfather again.  The problem was that I had displaced memories that I could not explain. These memories felt like me, an adult me. In addition, the images that accompanied these memories did not jive with what the bible taught. I had first begun having these memory flashbacks from about the age of four.

At that very young age, I of course had nowhere near the vocabulary to express them, so I became obsessed with my children’s bible to try to figure out what happened before the bible. However, the bible’s book of Genesis glosses over the big bang, and our evolution in just a few paragraphs. In addition, the theory of evolution did not explain what I knew to be real, this other existence.

As time passed, I became aware of stories of reincarnation and feats of mind/body control that seemed almost impossible, mostly demonstrated by Buddhist monks living high in the Himalayas, seemingly a very long way away from a lost teenage boy living on the shores of Lake Ontario. The thing about these reincarnation stories were that, though they seemed likely and quite possible, it was not what I saw in my mind’s eye. At that point, I was far from realizing that every individual has his/her own grail journey and no two will be alike. In accepting reincarnation, it answered at least part of the question about it being possible to have “lived in some kind of before the bible existence”.

I watched the 1988 film “The Serpent and the Rainbow” with some interest. I had taken an interest in

magic and how magicians were able to manipulate life’s energies. I was now dabbling in the occult, a sure way to damn my soul to hell, I had been told by some. Utter nonsense I knew because if there was a hell, this realm was it with its poverty, slavery, common violence, greed, disease, ad nauseum.

During my twenties, I had little hope. I was preternaturally depressed, and it really was only my search for the Holy Grail that provided any relief. In order to find that relief though, it was absolutely necessary to unlearn all that I thought I knew about spiritualism. In other words, throw the entire church under the nearest bus. Then drown any survivors. This process began by accepting that Christianity is a created bastardized religion. It is a hybrid formed from Roman Sun god worship, the Essene Church of Jerusalem, and, the ego of Emperor Constantine. The influence of the Essenes was poisoned by the idiot Paul’s inability to understand the basic tenants of Hermetics. Therefore, the gibberish that Paul and his colleagues were preaching to Rome was incorrect from the start. During the next several hundred years the fortunes of Christianity rose and fell, sometimes they were persecuted, sometimes not.

Christianity’s fortunes really turned after Constantine and his brother-in-law’s battle at Milvian Bridge in 312 A.D. After Constantine’s victory, he cynically used the opportunity to forge his relationship with Christianity by claiming that during the battle, he saw a huge cross in the sky, accompanied by the words, “In this sign conquer”. Unsurprisingly Christian leaders were most impressed that a Roman Emperor had ridden to victory under their banner. Constantine then summoned the aging Bishop Miltiades, his purpose was to take over the Christian church entirely. His first instruction to Miltiades was that the nails from the cross of Christ be brought to him, so that one could be affixed to his crown. Constantine’s actions were destined to change the course of Christianity for all time.

Miltiades died in 314; Constantine broke with Christian tradition, and appointed Sylvester to be the first Imperial Bishop. He was crowned with much pomp and ceremony, gone were the days when a new bishop was crowned in shady back room proceedings, Christianity was now, the Church of Rome. Many followers of the faith were outraged that their leadership was now encased in gold, ermine, and jewels that Christ himself had decried. Many felt that this “victory” was an evil cloud of absolute defeat- a profanation of all the principles they had so long held sacred. In very real terms, all of Jesus’s ideals had been forsaken, and handed over to his adversaries on a silver plate.

Discovering just how contrived Christianity is, it was easy to disavow it completely. As we go forward on this grail quest, we will talk at length about how books were removed from the bible, and just how recent some of the church’s manipulations have been. If you peruse this site’s The Rabbit Hole Today, you will find that there, I commonly express the lies told to us by the church, my outrage as well. There too you will find links to articles about archaeology, Mars, and paleontology, the big bang too. It is my conviction that, without a complete understanding of these seemingly disparate subjects, we cannot draw accurate conclusions.

I began this article talking about the possibility of life in another dimension, I remain firm in my belief that it exists. I am also fully aware that the truth is out there and, it is not easy to find. The church has over the last two thousand years, so muddied the waters that most folks are afraid to search for what their sacred selves know as the truth. How can I be so convinced that I am right? And the church was wrong? During the dark ages, the only educated people were the clergy. Nobles could read and write their own language but not Latin. The bible was in Latin; the common folk could not read or write Latin. What the church said was the real thing therefore. Now in the twenty first century, there is enough information in the public domain that with careful scrutiny, the truth can and is discerned.