PTSD

February 28, 2021

PTSD, also known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, occurs when an overly distressing or traumatic event has happened in your life. Over the past few decades, more information about PTSD has come to the forefront. Unfortunately, it can often take months to successfully diagnose PTSD, and patients may have to wait for months for government-funded psychological help.

PTSD can be triggered by a range of events that the patient has deemed as distressing. Typically, it’s due to a prolonged traumatic experience, however, it can onset after an individual event.

Most frequently, PTSD is a result of abuse (sexual or physical), domestic violence, exposure to traumatic events at work (especially common in first responders), death or grief, childbirth, torture, severe or fatal accidents, serious health concerns, near-death experiences, and war (veterans often report suffering from PTSD).

PTSD is so common in fact, that 33% of individuals who have experienced severe trauma will receive a PTSD diagnosis. Although anyone who has experienced trauma can develop PTSD, a history of depression or anxiety can be a major risk factor. There also may be a genetic or biological factor to the diagnosis.

If you think you may be suffering from PTSD, there are four clear symptoms and side effects that a doctor will look at before offering a diagnosis.

  1. Flashbacks A frequent theme of PTSD sufferers is recurrent, life-like flashbacks of the traumatic event that occurred. Flashbacks can often lead to extreme anxiety. Flashbacks are most frequently caused by emotional triggers, and the sufferer may feel like the event is currently happening.
  2. Avoidance PTSD patients are quick to avoid discussing the event they experienced or the flashbacks. It is a common coping mechanism, and the patient may intentionally or subconsciously avoid any emotional triggers or places that remind them of the event.
  3. Detachment After experiencing a traumatic event, the PTSD sufferer may detach themselves from other people, activities, or experiences in life. Detachment is an often-unhealthy coping mechanism, and the patients may begin to isolate or alienate themselves.
  4. Memory Loss The brain copes with traumatic events by blocking them from the memory. Some individuals who have experienced a traumatic episode may not remember what happened before, during, or after the event. Memories may resurface overtime, or they may stay blocked permanently. The body may still respond subconsciously to reminders of the event even though the patient cannot outwardly recall it.

If you think that you are suffering from PTSD, or if you know someone that is, there are resources out there. Mental health hotlines, psychologists, and your family doctor can provide support or healthy coping mechanisms. There are also support groups that are available to those suffering from PTSD.

The best thing to do is to acknowledge the trauma, work to identify the triggers, and identify your response to the emotions that it causes. Working through PTSD can be a lifelong process, but it can be done with the proper resources and tools.

**Warning**

The following discussion is not suitable for persons under the age of 18 years. If you are under 18, please leave this article now.

The Nanny, she has played such an incredibly integral role in my life, and yet has been the very person that I have spent the least amount of time with. We met in high school and there had seemed to be a world of possibility with her. Instead, what happened was that we ended up wounding each other terribly. Through the Nanny, I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life, not by knowing the Nanny but by meeting, her supposed, “best” friend. This individual of whom I have referred to as the snake or cow in other articles had never been on my radar, and really why should she have been? She was a grade 12 student, who was best friends with a “minor niner”, which was a very odd thing according to accepted social order. As for myself, I was stretched between grades 9 and 11.

The relationship between cow and I started off very adversarial, which seemed to have a lot to do with who had jurisdiction over the Nanny. This in and of itself should have registered as a huge red flag that indicated just how fucked up she was. However, it did not because there was a whole lot of other stuff in the way. Sadly, simultaneously the Nanny and I were breaking up due to trust and communication issues.  This allowed cow to slither her way in to my life.  It should have been a huge warning sign as to her lack of identity that within those first hours of spending any real time with her that we had sex. She was 17 at the time, and I was unpleasantly surprised to find how used she was; how the experience was more about histrionics than supposed teenage hormones. Over the next several years, we were very much on again off again due mostly to her whoring ways. Adding to that was her continuing struggle with lack of identity where she played head games with everyone.  

This of course begs the question as to why I continued to allow her to be part of my life, in answer, in too many ways I felt that it was too late for me, I was dead inside.

This image perfectly exemplifies the way that I felt. I had no hope, no expectations, no desires, and no motivations. Even actual death had no appeal.

This was not Chris with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; this was Chris who had no soul, no hope, and no expectation of life.  Here I lived as I watched her fuck every one of my friends, their brothers, and whoever the hell else she met. What began to wake me was when she got pregnant; I had no idea of whose baby it was. The disgust and contempt in which I held her in manifested itself after I found out about how she facilitated the rape of a minor; soon after I asked her when she was going to calf. I also told her to get the fuck out of my house. Upon her return, as a peace offering she actually walked naked in to the living room, laid down on the floor, spread her legs in front of me as I was sat on the couch and began to masturbate! The sight of her disgusted me and made me want to vomit, so I told her that she was a whore, got up, grabbed my coat and went for coffee.

During the entire decade that I was involved with her, the happiest moment for me was at what was almost the end. I was in the bedroom getting ready to go to work, I did not know where she was nor did I care, so there I was putting my wallet in to my jeans rear right pocket when I hear her enter the house then appear in the doorway to the bedroom. She had black and blue and yellow bruises with a nasty shiner and a split lip. She had been out fucking this bisexual fag coward petty criminal who had clearly beaten the fuck out of her. I stood there calmly appraising her then said and I quote, “I hope it was worth it, you disgust me and we’re done. You’ll have our separation papers soon”. The happiest moment of my marriage.

So, what does this tale of woe have to do with PTSD? In our article “The Mothman”, we talk about how events are influenced, about how people are in our lives to cause lessons to be taught or learned. My mother was the first to begin that lesson for me, treating me like absolute shite. The snake’s behavior echoed that lesson with her utter or cow udder disregard and disrespect. My attitudes and behavior too were lessons meant to teach her. Cows’ limitless cruelty needed matching, so there was I as an unfeeling counter weight to her, equally and easily able to match her bullshit. The faggot coward who beat the fuck out of her, he too was a continuation of her lesson. The lesson only stops when you have learned it.

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