Why Me?

March 20, 2021

Apparently it is rude to poke someone in the forehead and say, “skip intro” when they start talking to you

This was my first impression of the bi-sexual fag coward petty criminal that my ex-wife was fucking. I knew upon first sight of the loser that he was that, a loser, and that nothing that he thought or said would be worth hearing. Many very rotten things happened that year, and a lot of it had to do with his warped sexuality.

I am a straight male, this guy was a homosexual, and it offended me deeply that he kept trying to orchestrate situations where he could come on to me sexually.

Some of it had to do with his inability to deal with my utter and complete rejection of him as a person, place, or thing. This rejection caused him to strike out regularly and violently against women, this included my (might be) daughter who was all of 15 months old at the time. This alone, regardless of his other atrocious behaviors, makes him no more or less, than an animal that needs to be put down without delay. The appalling behavior of my ex-wife and her ghastly comportment allowed that type of filth in to my home. Now, this may sound like an indictment of character(s), or blame; but do not mis-understand what is really happening here.

The above certainly presents some extremely ugly truths, and as an unenlightened individual would see it, it would doubtlessly lead to some deep soul searching that would begin with the question, why me? And indeed, as I began the recovery process that is exactly where I started. As I have stated elsewhere, 30 years ago, I knew nothing of the Grail, nor anything of import when it came to the connectivity of our corporeal lives and our sacred selves.

It is commonly held today that mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual states of being are entirely separate issues. They are not; we are one whole individual that cannot function properly without the whole system being in balance. The medical community is trying to treat and cure us while missing a fundamental truth about how our bodies operate. Every physical ailment that we suffer from begins with inflammation. Every tablet and surgery that the medical community gives us treats only the symptoms of inflammation.  Our DNA is marvelous stuff and is programmed by hormones, as well as pre-programmed by pre-cursor hormones (a little like a new computer will come with pre-loaded software), and it is these when out of balance that causes inflammation. It has been suggested that at some point during the last 13.8 billion years, that it was an error in hormonal or pre-hormonal balance that has caused homosexuality.  In the event, it would now seem that the presumed error is now hard wired in to our DNA. It would seem that the “imbalance” was brought to earth from Nibiru, some 3.8 billion years ago after the collision with Nibiru, and the subsequent seeding of life on earth from that collision in a process known as panspermia.

My ex-wife, the snake, she too was bi-sexual, and that also brought large measures of chaos to our lives. This is not about criticism of the sex act, that is rather pointless because it is what it is, and will take place as it will depending entirely upon the individual(s) involved. The purpose of these articles from “Ice Water Mansions” throughout is to try to explain motivations for whatever activity. I was seven years old in the events related in that article, my mother that night started what I consider total war, an effort that she maintained until the night of her suicide, her efforts included the use of what I considered to be nuclear weapons when she told me that she had never wanted me. Her effort continued in to the spiritual realm as well, as I related in our article “Spiritually Unprepared”.

For more than twenty years after “Ice Water Mansions”, I struggled hard with the concept of being a victim. My thought processes were all about why me? I had fully understood from a very early age that I was essentially a good person who wanted nothing more than to see, people be good and kind to each other. For the life of me, I could not begin to comprehend why, or how it was, that I had been treated so miserably. Was everyone just a different level of asshole? Was it that simple? If it was that simple, there was not much point to existence.  

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