***Warning, this essay contains a frank discussion about suicide.***
If you find this triggering please call
833 456 4566
August 7, 2022
The Holy Grail, what an incredible journey. It is truly a remarkable thing that we have discovered, and it is a thing that we should be furious about. The Christian church has tried to present itself as something that has existed from the beginning of time, this we know to be a complete and utter falsehood. As we have delved deeper into our subject, the truths have revealed themselves with an increasing ease, as I said they would. In no part of our journey to date have we needed to take an unhealthy or, unneeded leap of faith. The historical record has revealed the truth of the Sumerian civilization, church inspired archaeological efforts have revealed some supporting truths of what the Bible says took place. However, secular follow up investigations have shown that, yes the event took place, but there’s no evidence of the event being miraculous, or even having taken place where the church says it did. This is especially true when it comes to the present location of the State of Israel, it could be that the historical biblical Israel was located several hundreds of miles south of its present location, there are strong indications that it really should be located in the desserts of western Arabia. For more on this see our essays, “We Have It All Wrong” and, “They Found The Bible Was Wrong”.
The only leap of faith that we have taken is the existence of the planet Nibiru, but even here there is proof of it being out there somewhere, see our essay “Where Are You?” which is an analyses of statistical data of Nibiru’s orbital influences. Though it does not offer proof positive of Nibiru’s existence, it does strongly suggest that there is an unknown planet out there, and that it will be discovered within the coming decade or so.

Even though I have little if anything nice to say about my mother, I have to admit that she was a smart girl. When I was young I was interested in why the people of the Bible payed so much attention to mysticism and astrology, so because mom was a biblical “expert”, I asked her. She had no understanding of the practice of Kabbalah because we were not Jewish, but she said that astrology was the division of the night sky into the houses of the zodiac, and that had been brought about by “since the ancients had no TV, they watched the night sky because after it got dark, that was all there was to do”. Hmm, I guess that was an okay explanation for 8 year old me, but the question never really went away and needed a far better answer.
As of now, I have no great understanding of Kabbalah, nor really of astrology, and those of you who do, my compliments, you have done some good work. As for now I am limited to knowing that it was Ninurta who divided the sky into twelve symbols, and he is from Nibiru because he is El Shaddai’s first born son, one of the true sons of god. As I understand it now, Kabbalah is one way of understanding the Akashic record, my research goes on. Though we do not call it Nibiru, its influence on our past is undeniable, it has influenced everything from the formation of our solar system, why some of our planets look and act as they do, why the Earth is a great big cracked egg, why there is a missing link in our evolution, and where our spiritual ideas and education came from.
It is only through understanding our history, our true history that we can understand our now. And our now is in trouble up to its nipples. Here I could go on about global warming and climate change, domestic violence, war, water, poverty, and a million and two other societal problems. Many of these problems could have been prevented had the church not thrown us into darkness. Sure that may sound like too big of a stretch, I assure you its not. When the Annage arrived here 432,000 years ago and proceeded to build pyramids, and dozens of facilities around the world, they built on or near the 30° North latitude so they could harness the Earth’s own Teleric energy from our Ley Lines, an endlessly renewable energy source. Too, what the Annage had was the technological advancement to be able to use gold, in its mono-atomic state to power devices similar to the Ark of the Covenant to provide huge amounts of portable energy. Their technology just as their spiritualism is/was based on high vibrational frequency.
Every one of the Bible’s main characters from Adam, who was created to mine the gold to Abraham who used it to increase his mental abilities in his war with Marduk/Ra. From Moses who was an accomplished Gold Smith, to Jesus himself who associated with Levite priests; all were heavily involved with the unique world changing power of gold.

Even a thousand years after Christ, we had the Knight Templar whose every Master was a descendent of Christ, return to Israel and learned the power of mono-atomic gold and used it to try to change the world. So, do you begin to see the truth of it? The Bible from the start has been warped and made into a low energy manifest where it does nothing but suck energy from us.
I find it laughable when a clergyman says I’ll pray for your soul, how can he when he knows nothing about the nature of my true soul, my sacred self? In his eyes my soul as well as everyone elses was born in sin, because we were born from a woman, so from the moment we were born, our sacred selves are being guided backwards into fear and trepidation. By that fact alone, we must ask, just how is the church being responsible stewards of our souls? They themselves prove how lost they are by insisting that a church created concept threatens us all, yeah the Devil. They have taken their creation and plugged it into what is truly a remarkable story, and ruined it. The Bible by itself had the potential to be a remarkable scientific, genealogical record that told incredible stories about two races of people. Sure our teachers had been harsh, but the lessons learned were worth it, math, science, reading and writing, and Earth sciences, geography, we knew what our world looked like, including Antarctica.
It is in learning about the nature and origin of the Devil that has brought something into its proper context. As I have mentioned in our series on The Mansion – my mother, she suicided, I was not greatly bothered that she did, she had been unable to find a way to live with the choices she had made, and had taken the easy way out. My interest had been far more abstract, I had wondered what was going to happen to her spiritually. According to church doctrine, suicide is an attack on God, and because of that, the individual can not be admitted into heaven. And also according to the church, an individual can only go to either heaven or hell, seeing my mother’s behaviours and that she had attacked God, I was pretty certain St Pete had given her a big thumbs down, and she had gone to hell. As much as I had come to truly hate her, I did not want that for her. I would have settled for her getting a daily dose of what she gave me, only turned up to eleven.
So I had settled on the idea that mom had gone to hell, and that she would spend eternity splashing around naked, stuffed full of inhuman sized cocks, in some kind of lake of fire in the midst of some very strange swingers hell orgy. It’s from nonsense like Dante’s Inferno that such imagery comes.

That she had gone to hell seemed to be proven by, 1. the church said she would, 2. when she had come to me on the night of her machine death, the experience had taken place in darkness, and 3. whatever type of energy that had come to me then had been deathly cold. Now here seems a contradiction though, horror movies that feature evil spirits always have cold spots where the spirit was or had been, whereas hell is always seen to be on fire. In our series on the Devil, we showed that all of the devil’s traits were human, these extremes of hot and cold too are human. For most people, myself included, the idea of being burned alive terrifies them and for good reason, the same can be said for being cold, a damp dank cold that settles in your bones, and reaches with its icy fingers into your soul is a terrible experience. So as we have learned, if the Devil and hell are created fabrications of the church, where does that leave the individual who suicides?
Well the good news there is, certainly not in the church’s description of hell. Now as we have talked about in previous essays, each of our incarnations in whatever realm is about either teaching or learning lessons necessary to our sacred selves. Those experiences in this realm tend to be rather harsh, and I refer to this realm as being hell on Earth. If we are to take the Dalai Lama and Krsna at their word, it is possible that we will reincarnate many many times over the course of 10,000 trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion years. (Dr. Brian Cox thinks this is when all nuclear activity will cease in the universe) Whether he is right or wrong about that is immaterial because any way you look at it, it’s a very long time and counts as immortality in every meaningful way because that number is mindbogglingly huge.
So again, where does that leave the suicideee? Well with the time available to him or her, it kind of leaves them where they started. They entered this realm with an agenda, and they worked that plan to the point of their unnatural death, because of the nature of string theory and the multiverse it’s possible that the point of death was the completion of their efforts here, or on the other hand, perhaps not. It is likely that they will reincarnate as an individual who will continue their original agenda minus the experiences had to that point of death. It too is possible that they will have to relive the experiences that killed them so that whatever the goal is or was achieved. It is also likely that the individual will see, or suffer, a longer period of incarceration either here in this realm, or wherever they end up next, and that place will be harder than here. Why?
Our overall goal is ascension, the attainment of perfection of self, this is what Christ taught and it was bastardized to him being made perfect. And there are echoes of it still as the church tells us to try to be like him. The Dalai Lama has reincarnated 13 times since 1391, his stated goal for returning to this realm, is that he has character flaws that can only be fixed by his experiences here.

That said, a suicide is an unnatural state of affairs in every measure-able way, and it exposes a pretty large character flaw. Now before you start hating me for saying that, understand that I do not ever want to see any family ripped apart by a suicide, and of course most people are good decent people who only want to give and receive love as they go about their lives. But here’s the thing with suicide, they cut themselves off from it, not necessarily their family’s love, but from their own. It is this that enables them to believe that they are worthless and that they would be better off dead.
Folks who have suffered a suicidal ideated person, have probably run the gambit of drugs and addiction, rehab, endless sessions of therapy, to scary close calls, to Oh My God, they actually did it! All of it in a seemingly vain attempt to get to the root cause of the problem, this is why things for the suicideee will be harder in his/her next incarnations, they will learn how to get past the short circuit that killed them. Understand this clearly, in this realm you may have known the individual for the first time, and you may feel responsible as that person’s family member, but it is quite possible that for the suicideee, he or she may have died many times before meeting us as they struggle to find, and fix, whatever that character flaw might be.
Those of you out there who are survivors of a family member’s suicide, cut yourselves some slack, for whatever reason the person did it is likely not your fault, and has little or nothing to do with you. Take care of your sacred self now, and drop the church and its negative energy. Seek answers and healing in the Akashic records.
why is it, I often wonder, that the lost are the first to point to a way home…. btw great blog
LikeLike