The Damned Question

November 8, 2022

A couple of weeks ago the Nanny and I were talking, and as is her way, she took our talk to a whole different level. We had started somewhere around how hard life is, you know, money, inflation, and how people suffer. Then soaring past where my head was just then, she asks the question – again. Why do we have to suffer for doing things that we have no memory of doing? And I’m like, right, okaaaay, I guess we’re not talking about a new bedroom suite anymore. As she came home to me going on 5 years ago now, she was a train wreck, we both were. I had an advantage over her though, I had been studying the Grail for 20 years at that point and had found a whole lot of serenity by doing so. In those early days for us, she had said and I quote her, “I want that”, and she asked me to be her spiritual advisor. Needless to say, I was both shocked, and happy that she had asked me to. And I take that responsibility very seriously indeed because I will see that no further harm comes to her.

Because she came to the Grail already seriously disenchanted with Christianity, it was relatively easy to get her to understand our true history, and the role the Annunaki played, and she is smart enough to see that Nibiru’s insertion into our solar system makes more sense than God doing things half assedly. I do not have a planned agenda for her to learn from, the Grail is not a belief system, it is very much a personal journey, and it is like a sweet fruit that as you peel away the outer layers, you have a delicious sweet treat inside. That sweet treat in our case is, both the discovery of, and the utilization of your 3rd eye, and, the discovery of your sacred self, the real you. And this is from where her question stems from. Hers and everyone’s sacred self.

She is smart enough to understand the concept of duality, it is all around us everyday, light/dark, hard/soft, love/hate, happy/sad.

She too knows that there are things invisible to us, radio waves, electricity, cell phone signals, radiation. She also easily understands that we too, as humans, can be and are, two things at once, real and beings of light and energy, dual citizens of the universe. In accepting that we are two things at once, it only makes sense to think that our other self has a life there in the light. Here in this realm, on our dying planet, we find that we are deeply, deeply flawed individuals. Most of us can explain that away by saying, well it’s family or financial, um, uh huh sure. Yes absolutely we do struggle and it is criminal that we have to, and it’s an awesome distraction. Obviously this is but a small part of a whole answer, but consider, an inmate in a prison works to wile away his/her time, it gives them something of an outlet for their energy, perhaps even some form of purpose, an escape from the brutality of their lives. We too on the outside suffer the same because if we do not work, we lose the roof over our heads, our self respect, the ability to eat and be “healthy”. Worse we become locked into a pattern of poverty, that we can not escape from physically, because we are on an escape proof rock floating in empty space. Just as that prison inmate can not escape from prison, that individual has already lost their self respect (if they had any to begin with), healthy food is a dream for them, and moral, ethical, emotional, spiritual, financial poverty is their norm. So what we have here, this space ship that we call earth, has prisons on what itself is a prison. Consider too how we both enter and leave this realm, it’s in pain. It’s not likely to be very comfortable to have our heads squeezed together as our mothers squirt us out of a 10 cm or 3.937 inch hole, that she herself nearly dies to create for us and death is usually painful by whatever means. This place is a shithole.

Right, it’s a shithole, so why are are we here and why must we experience it? Our ultimate goal is Ascension, to obtain a type of perfection, this is the goal of our sacred selves, our light beings. Parts of our journey to Ascension has us living in a place of light and energy, the Kundalini. Even though we are beings of light, we are not yet perfect, and it is quite possible that we vary in age, it is likely that more than a few people are not even teenagers as the universe is only 13.7 billion years old, considering that we have a possible life span of 10,000 trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion years. So if we are yet children, or even tweens, we still need guidance and lots of it. Some of that will doubtlessly take place while in the Kundalini

 because we are alive we will learn.

It is likely that because of our youth, that area of our brains that control short term decision making is yet underdeveloped. As such that will cause us all to make mistakes, and those transgressions land us up here, in this shithole. Right, so we have figured out where, when, and how we are, so why do we not consciously remember any of it? During the early 20th century France had a colony in South America called French Guiana, off the coast of that colony were three islands that they used as a part of their prison system.

There, one of those islands was used as a facility for solitary confinement. While in solitary confinement, some inmates as a form of escaping the intolerable conditions, would build what was termed Spanish Castles. These were elaborate mental fantasies that allowed the inmate to cope with their circumstance, at least for a period of time, until the thing broke down and reality set in. This would often cause the individual to suicide.

As harsh as the Universe can seem, it has no desire to see us hurt. Death here in this realm is only our return to the Kundalini. That said, however there are rules that must be followed. A suicide amounts to the same as a prison break, and there will be consequences for it. The lessons that we teach and learn here are what they are, the same as 2+2 = 4, it just is. Our inability to consciously remember our past incarnations gives us a form of protection from those Spanish Castles. We all at some point realize a longing for something more, a something that religion does not satisfy. That longing has led to an  epidemic of mental health issues, between 2015 – 2018 something like 13.2% of all adults have taken antidepressant medication. This longing of course is because our connection to source has been severed. Source of course being Kundalini energy. So if we are supposed to be connected to Kundalini energy, should we also not be able to remember what took place while there? The answer to that while being a bit convoluted, is really exceedingly simple.

So, remember when you were in grade school, and you are sat at your desk and the teacher is waffling on about whatever subject, and instead of you being sat there paying attention, you are staring out the window and daydreaming, then the teacher throws a black board eraser at you to wake you up? That is your Spanish Castle. Now, let us remember where we are in this realm, yes it is a shithole but it too is a school. While in class we are supposed to be paying attention to every word the teacher says, not daydreaming about what we did last summer/incarnation. That Kundalini energy is supposed to be with us to keep the power and lights on, to prevent the necessity of us building Spanish Castles because the Universe knows that is when/how we will get hurt in the worst way.

Logically a further question is, that knowledge that we have gained in previous incarnations, should that not be of use to us in the now? Of course it is, and it is expressed through our natural talents and intuitions. So then why is there separation between our celestial selves and our corporeal self? In answer, why does a baby wear a bib when you feed it, or a fire fighter a haz-mat suit when fighting a chemical fire? This realm is messy with blood, spit, chemical filth, there is certainly nothing wrong with protecting the sanctity of our sacred light bodies and using these water filled avatars instead. Given the probable length of our lifetimes, to help keep us focused on our goal of ascension, we too have the Akashic record of which we can access anytime we wish to.

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