May 10, 2023
In our essay “Who What The?!” I made a rather startling claim, that I met my 2nd officer who had been with me during a battle in another realm/lifetime. Needless to say, the moment of that revelation was more than a little uncomfortable. I at first thought that the guy was nuts, but my own visceral reaction, was proof enough that whatever was happening there was really the truth. As an Empath, I am a Truthsayer, a human lie detector. Even though at the time I had no idea of what I was, and it would be many years before I would find out exactly what I was, this never interfered with my empathetic gift. As I said in the essay, that good Officer and Gentleman and I spent quite a bit of time talking that day, and stayed in touch for many years after, and much of what we talked about paired perfectly with my memories that I had never known what to do with.
I am not yet ready to share the details of the decision(s) that led us here to this realm, but both he and I are convinced that they were the correct ones. More lives were saved than lost, and the good of the many, must outweigh the good of the few, or the one. According to him, I was much revered by my staff and those who served under me. And no, I am not making any type of claim to heroism. This though may help explain an incident that took place while I was in my early 30s, I had loaded in Los Angeles CA and due to weather, was taking the southern route home, which took me through Oklahoma City OK. I had made a completely unexpected and unforeseen stop at the Flying J at exit 137 on I35/44. While there, the waitress had said some things to me that I thought were outlandish, and completely nuts at the time. She said that she knew me from before, and that we did not deserve what we got, and that she felt very close to me. As I asked her about this, she could not explain why she had said any of that. Nor could I explain why I had made the stop there, and done it somewhat recklessly, coming from the center lane, and almost having completely over shot the exit ramp. From the moment of my arrival to the moment I left, her eyes had shone with reverence, and her tone of voice was pure respect. The only other person who has ever looked and spoke to me like that is the Nanny. And she has done that since she was 14 years old. This reverence is likely the source for my ego, and it seems that the reverence once held for me was well deserved. This lifetime of course has been very different, it’s not been about reverence; but rejection and the destruction of ego. My 2nd officer too, he came up hard.
The Nanny, her part in this is fascinating. As I have said, I have memories of at least 3 past lifetimes, she was mine in at least 2 of them. My last memory of her, was in the previous realm to our present now. In this memory sequence, that afternoon I had just finished with a type of tribunal, and had been sentenced to 76 years in this realm. (I guess we will find out how accurate that is if I live to 76 years old). So there I was, I was sat in a type of bright, airy, public area, with long cafeteria type tables that had holographic computer stations at every other seat. I was sat there with the remains of a meal in front of me, while doing what I could to clean up and organize my personal affairs in the extremely limited amount of time given me to do so. I was surrounded by a security detail, clearly in custody, but was being given a measure of privacy while seeing to my affairs. I was shocked, and thought it absurd the length of sentence and incarceration that I was facing. I was also extremely worried about my staff who had been charged, and I had done what I could to have their charges either dropped, or reduced. Insisting that I was taking full responsibility for what happened, and that they had only been following orders.
It had been my intention to keep the team as close together as possible so that upon arrival here, we could face whatever adversary as a united front. That plan has not worked out so well thanks to the powers that be separating us, and sentencing us separately. I was worried about something that I did not understand completely, time dilation. As a result, my 2nd officer is 10 years older than myself, I was 5 years older than the waitress, and, I am 2 years older than the Nanny. I wish that I could remember the ages of us in that place to see what the age differences were. My last memory of her was as she entered that area, I had looked up from what I was doing hearing the doors open, and my heart skipped a beat as I saw it was her, my wife. We had not seen each other since before the investigation had started, and in that moment, my need to go to her and hold her, touch her, be in her energetic aura defies all descriptive efforts. Even though I knew that there was no physical contact allowed, I began to get up to go to her, and as I did, a strong hand of one of the security detail’s members fell upon my shoulder to keep me seated. I remember barking at him that a man stands when a woman enters a room, he growled in return that I was no longer a man but a prisoner. She too began to rush towards me, her need of me written large on her beautiful face, she too had a security detail and one of them got between her and I and none too gently forced her to a stop 3 paces from where I sat.
There I learned that her situation had changed, she had not yet been sentenced, yet her place of incarceration had been named, and she was being further investigated. This is likely where it was decided that she would marry the bastard mother fucker that she did, and have his child. I of course can not be sure of this, only she can tell us should she ever be able to access this information herself. This was of course of devastating concern to me, both because of the suspected time dilation, and that she would face sentencing alone with only whatever support network available. I have no memory of any family at all, beyond her being mine. My next memory of this sequence is my briefing of what would occur here, then an agonizing experience, then here.
It is difficult reconciling the celestial with our humanity, the only real evidence that we come from somewhere else is that upon our arrival here, we all speak the same language,
and that language is not Sumerian nor Aramaic. In fact Jesus Christ would have spoken it when he got here before he was reeducated to speak Aramaic. In this human realm we remember little if anything from that celestial briefing. We may get glimmers from deja vu, or what is referred to as our gut instinct, certainly the opening of our 3rd eye helps clarify everything. In regards to the Nanny, when we met when she was 14 years old I wanted her completely, and the relationship did not work for a thousand wrong reasons, when for every one of those reasons it should have worked.
All I understood then was that we needed time, the reasons why eluded me completely. Later when in our 20s, when she nannied my (maybe) daughter, she brought me the certitude that I would marry her. My gut, heart and mind said that if I did, all would be as it always had been with her. There would be lots of love and much happiness even when it got bumpy. At my celestial briefing I was informed that I would loose two women of vital importance to me, one being the Nanny, the other being the one who ran away from home, of who I have only recently reestablished a type of contact with. The Nanny being the link as she was in the beginning.
At present I am unable to access the memories that contain the data that would allow me to find out what decisions were made that resulted in my incarceration here. There are several questions that could do with answers. One of which is, did I truly make an executive decision that resulted in the incarceration of 20 or more individuals? Or was I given orders that I followed to a tee, and then was made the fall guy? Did my ego prevent me from seeing something that should have been common sense? Could it have been a time nexus point where there could be no possible winner? As excited as I am to explore the Akashic record, I am not sure that such information would be available there. However, seeing as how my incarceration has had such a major impact on my life, there may be no better place than the Akasha to find accurate information about this.
Serving the Grail 